I met George Robinson in December of 1991, 3 days after my 20th birthday. Immediately, we were intimately connected, sitting in his baby blue Dodge Dakota in my parents' driveway or talking on the phone as I sat curled up in my bedroom - for hours. Two months later he proposed on Valentine's Day, we married 6 months after and within 4 years intentionally grew into a family of five with the births of our incredible humans.

 

I loved it until I didn't. Although my husband was 10 years older than I, and I was now a mother to three babies - in many ways I was still a young maiden deep inside myself. There were no clear paths of initiation, no mystical lineage of what it is to be a woman in love passed down from my mother and grandmothers. A strict religious upbringing had stripped me of the natural feminine awakening a young girl experiences with the onset of her menstruation, which for me arrived at the tender age of 10. 

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So when it came to finally meeting the man I would marry -

I believed our relationship would become the gateway to my own sexual freedom and expression.

 

As is true for most young girls in our culture, it felt there were two extremes of my feminine desire. The first was the way of our church - to make it wrong and secretive - something to be hidden and quieted, saved for marriage. Much more appealing to my being was the alternative - highly-romanticized sexual sensationalism packaged and sold to our youth as 'love.' 

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Neither was a place I could inhabit as mother and wife. My marriage proved to thrive in our companionship, but lacked the depth, intimacy and sexual engagement I desired. What I didn't (and back then could not) understand is how intricately woven sexual energy, life force and divinity are. How one can ignite the other and to the naked eye become insatiable. 

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My sexuality and the hunger to live it began to devour me from the inside out. I was heartbroken, protected - and beneath the layers of tender grief - furious. There was a fire burning in my sex and belly and its flame was intensifying. 

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I would learn over time and pain-searing, real-life experience how tangled my sense of sexual energy was with the taboo of scandal, affairs, shadowy expression, sexual inflation and the karmic impressions of my bloodline.

 

There is a woman named Mary Magdalene Bailey Beadle, who was convicted of adultery in 1651 colonial Massachusetts. Mary's husband had died four years earlier and her relationship with George Rodgers was considered adulterous because they weren't married. Both were sentenced to lashes, although due to pregnancy Mary's was deferred. 

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It was also mandated that Mary wear a red letter 'A' on her clothing.

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She is in fact the woman upon whom Nathaniel Hawthorne based his fictional character, adulteress Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter.

 

Mary Magdalene Bailey Beadle, the real life Hester Prynne - was my ancestor. 

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The condemnation of Puritans, scandal of a woman's heart and sex,

as well as chosen or forced disconnect from her feminine center

and longing to be in the intimate union and expression of love, 

has been genetically passed down through my ancestors. 

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This has left much to clear, to disentangle and purify. Lifetimes of disconnection from the pristine potency of her sexuality have impacted the women of our family. What I have understood for some time is that I Am the one to purify this lineage in my dna. 

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As part of my own journey into the dance of torture and ecstasy as a highly sensual feminine woman, I chose a path that would unravel it all. Scandal and the adulteress energy followed me at every turn until I no longer collapsed into the fantasies and distortion of sexual-creational energetics. 

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My work, and indeed my service and expertise now is with women

who are transitioning the initiatory stages of life and love,

of mother, lover, creatrix and mystic - for each of these is beautifully imbued

in the art of being a sexually-embodied and radiantly *alive* feminine being. 

 

For a woman to deepen fully into herself and unlock the codes of her own sexuality goes far beyond wearing pretty lingerie, pleasing her man or performing unspeakable sex acts in the bedroom. There are multiple elements to her sexuality and its own unique expression and signature, often tucked back into the corners of her own taboo and genetic code. With a tone of grace, curiosity, compassion and pleasure, together we unfurl into the true essence of her creativity, sex, love and intimacy with all Life. 

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As we move forward into the current rapid and revolutionary edge of our human and conscious evolution, the templates for love, marriage and divinity are at the forefront of its creation. My work is for those who know they are imbued with the courage and desire for something more than the mundane or sensationalized experience of what it is to be in relationship, and instead are here to embody and live the Truth of their own being, mission and creation on this planet. 

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If this speaks to you, please take a moment to be in contact and share your desires for deeper exploration. 

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xx

Jacqueline